Parenting is a roller coaster of a journey. Some moments melt your heart and others melt your patience. Discipline is an essential part of parenting and the way you go about it can make or break your relationship with your child. Here are 3 tips for implementing positive discipline in your home.
Understand The Meaning Behind The Behavior
Being a good listener is an essential element to parenting. It’s important to know your child well enough to know why they are acting a certain way. Naomi Aldort, the author of “Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves,” says that children want to behave well; if they seem to miss the mark, it’s not without a valid reason. “The most important [thing] is to realize that whether a child does, we may label as bad, [but really] the child is doing the best he can. It’s our job as parents to find out why [he is] doing it, says Aldort. “Once we know the valid root of the behavior, we can easily remove the cause or heal the emotions, and the child won’t be driven to behave in that way anymore.”
Focus On Controlling Yourself- Not Just Your Child
If you’re a parent, you know it can be hard not to lose your mind sometimes. Dr. Katharine C. Kersey, the author of “The 101s: A Guide to Positive Disciple,” says that parents should try their best to model the behavior they want their children to emulate.
“We should not do anything in front of [our children] that we don’t want them to do,” she suggests. In the case of an extreme behavioral mishap, this may mean counting to 10, taking a deep breath or simply walking away until you’ve had time to collect yourself.
Be Consistent With Your Discipline
Aldort says that parents often overlook a certain behavior in the hope that it will pass. “But guess what?” she says. “It doesn’t pass.” If your child hits another child, you might want to try holding their arm and telling them that the behavior is not acceptable. If they continue, then it is time to remove her from the situation.
Sometimes a child might try to test the limits by arguing with the rules. When this happens, Fay suggests neutralizing negotiations by repeating one simple mantra as often as necessary: “I love you too much to argue.”
We love our children and even though it may not be fun, discipline is necessary. If you have tips for other moms, leave a comment below and stay tuned for another blog next week with part two of our discipline tips.